Island of Dr. Blonde-reau

Book your tickets to the Maldives now, an all blonde lady staffed resort is about to open! Reports Metro UK: Olialia (pronounced ‘Ooh La La’) is hoping that by opening a resort in the exotic Indian Ocean destination staffed entirely by fair-haired women, they can dispel the stereotype that blondes are ?less intelligent?. To this end, their plans include an education centre, where the secrets of ?how to always be perfect and look great? will be passed on to female guests, an airline and yacht service staffed only by blondes, including the pilots ? and other standard holiday services. A few things. First, if my blonde friend told me, “I’m going to take a job at a resort in the middle of the Indian Ocean, specifically the Maldives, which is a Muslim country (fun!), exclusively staffed by blondes. Byyyyeee!!” I’d be like, “You’re really dumb. I never thought you were dumb before, but this is the dumbest thing I’ve ever known you, or anyone, to do.” Second, you can’t in one sentence say that your goal is to dispel the myth that blondes are less intelligent and then in the next sentence say classes on said resort will include lessons in “how to always be perfect and look great.” A) That sounds like a crazy brainwash Stepford Wife situation and B) I know what blonde you’re trying to emulate and her name is Barbie and she is always perfect because she doesn’t speak, is made of hard plastic and has no genitalia. So, basically, these are classes in how to eliminate Free Will. Cool. Thirdly, how could the pilot be blonde? I don’t get it. Oh, the pilot is a WOMAN! Am I just a boring old brunette, jealous that no island has been made to celebrate me, as I identify exclusively with being a brunette? Well, yeah. It’s still dumb though.Timbaland Lindsay Lohan Kelly Preston Macaulay Culkin