Jersey Shore Top Ten Catchphrase Countdown: Macaroni Rascals

VH1 TV Shows | Music Videos | Celebrity Photos | News & Gossip Fellow Juiceheads, did you hear the news that our loveable guidos and guidettes from the Jersey Shore are now being syndicated in Japan? It’s not surprising that the antics of The Situation, Snooki, DJ Pauly D and the others are garnering them fame on an international level, but this is: The show’s title in the Land of the Rising Sun is The New Jersey Life of Macaroni Rascals!!! Which, of course, is obviously the best name for a television program since, well, Best Week Ever (R.I.P.). Shame on you, Sally Ann Salsano, for not coming up with this title first! Now, on with this week’s Macaroni Rascals Top Ten Catchphrase Countdown! 10) “Um, well, for myself, I’m going to figure out what I want to do.” —Angelina So long, Trash Bags. So long, Staten Island Dump. You made it really hard for us to feel sorry for you this season, despite the fact that the rest of the Macaroni Rascals (especially The Situation) treated you pretty reprehensibly. What kind of an answer is this to a question? We included this clip in the Top Ten Catchphrase Countdown NOT as something that you and your friends should repeat, but rather, as a phrase that you should never, ever repeat. Good riddance, Angelina! 9) “I always have a good time when I go out to the club, but in the back of my mind, I’m thinking that I got a girl here. I got pajamas picked out already. This girl wants to bang me. I wanna go back to the crib.” —The Situation Our friends over at Crushable posed an interesting question this week: Is The Situation a one-hit wonder in bed? Judging from the sounds coming out of the Smush Room on this episode, one might be inclined to say that the Sitch rocked his little Maple Leaf’s world. However, the fact remains that he doesn’t get any, um, repeat business. Star printed an allegation this week that The Situation’s situation is the size of a “pinky,” so maybe that has something to do with it? After all, he is called The Situation and not The Package. Discuss! Also worth noting? We’re PRETTY sure Maple Leaf wasn’t wearing any undergarments at the club. Otherwise, why would MTV have blurred out the area around her skirt? Hardly a scene goes by in this show without an upskirt shot of some sort. 8) “They’re f*cking enjoying it. Don’t feed into their bullsh*t. If you wanna f*ck ten guys in one day, you can. That’s your f*cking business. So let’s go.” —Angelina’s Friend, Gina We’re all for women’s lib, really we are. Suffragette City and all that. But really, no one should be getting it in with ten people in one day, no matter if they’re dudes or chicks. Bad advice, Angelina’s friend! This guy knows what I’m talking about. 7) “Angelina probably left the Swiss cheese in the car, because we all know that rats love cheese.” —The Situation Yeah, not one of The Situation’s best quotes, we’ll admit. But what can we say? It was kind of a slow week at the Metropole. 6) “Make out with me. Make out with me.” —Snooki Poor Snooki. Ever since her breakup with Emilio and his meatballs, she hasn’t got any action (outside of a smash session with Vinny’s watermelon, of course). Well, she finally found someone this week who wasn’t a “grenade, grundle or chode,” but sadly, this guy was also an ex of Angelina’s. Her desperation while Snookin’ For Love was a little depressing, but she does win points for being aggressive! 5) “I think Angelina loves my sloppy seconds, ’cause she goes to Vinny, then she’s trying to go whats-his-name. If you wanna make out with me, just ask. I will say yes.” —Snooki See #6 above. 4) “To call me fake is some, it’s BLASPHEMY to talk against a leader like that. In other countries, you get hung for that type of sh*t.” —The Situation We sort of agree with Sitch here. Not about the hanging part, mind you, but about the being “fake” part. Sadly, we think the Sitch is all too real. The evidence is pretty clear that he’s bought into his own hype, which is why it’s good to see him getting taken down a peg or two each week on Dancing With The Situation. 3) “Yo, let’s get into this Nutella, pimp.” —Vinny We hear that! However, the bearer of the Watermelon Schlong needs to do a history lesson. Nutella does not come from Canada! It was invented by an Italian gentleman named Pietro Ferrero way back in 1946. 2) “What do i have to do to find a guy? This is like f*cking last summer all over again. What I would love to find is a guido juicehead with my personality, my style, and is not a cheater. Can i find that somewhere? ‘Cause I’m not going to go on Match.com again.” —Snooki Maybe try e-Harmony? If the marketing team over there hasn’t reached out to Snooks by the time this recap gets posted, they deserve to be fired. As great as this gem was, the REAL hottness was in the list that Snooki put together while working at the gelato shop. To that end, here are the complete transcriptions of Snooki’s likes and dislikes (that could go on her e-Harmony profile!): LIKES: Being stubborn, being tan, hoop earrings, dancing, house music, Deadmaus, regular pickles, party scenes, alcoholic beverages, people who “get, like me”, Ed Hardy, television, boats, pink, curly hair (rest indecipherable) HATES: Hangovers, boys/jerkoffs/fame whores, Miami boys, spicy foods, spicy pickles, spiders, the dark sharks, hardcore “techno”, fake people, smelly people, people, party poopers, debby downers, cookies, my exes. 1) “It’s ‘Wake Up The Whole Entire House Time’: The Song!” —DJ Pauly D and Ron Ron Every week, we praise Pauly D for the levity he’s been bringing to an otherwise drab season in M.I.A. Someone should bottle his enthusiasm and sell it as a rival product to 5-Hour Energy. CABS ARE HE-AH! Until next week, —Juice Springsteen PS: I have neglected to mention all these weeks that you have Pete Schultz to thank for the awesome Top Ten Montage videos. Everyone give Pete a fist-pump!Jeremy Jackson Rachel Miner Bristol Palin Lisa Ling