What, A Symphony Didn?t Play On Your Delayed Flight?

This is what happens when I fly: First, I get a seat in the middle that can’t recline. Then I sit next to someone who is not as hot as I had hoped. Then I pray that I won’t die. Then I think about all the recycled air I’m breathing and if I’m going to get tuberculosis. Then I think about all the people in business class and first class who avoided my gaze as I walked past them. And I curse them, just audibly enough to weird out the people on either side of me. Then I awkwardly graze the person to my right’s butt as I reach for my seat belt. Then I pray that I won’t die again. Then, if the person next to me is moderately hot, I try to showcase whatever pretentious book I have with me, which is purely for show, in the hopes of sparking a conversation. Barring that (which has never happened), I watch Current TV. If I’m lucky (How good is Current TV??). This has never happened to me: This is not a stunt, this is just what happens on sophisticated airlines in sophisticated European countries when a plane is delayed. The Amsterdam Sinfonietta pops out and entertains you. I think they also get free wine. Bastards. Via Daily WhatNelly Timbaland Lindsay Lohan Kelly Preston